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REAL LIFE CORRESPONDENCE II This is a real email I received at my office. I get about three of these similarly-themed con attempts a week, but this one was especially good; religious fervor, malingering illness, enticing monetary inducement. Please read the original email verbatim, then enjoy my response (actually sent) to this obvious scam... Dear
Sir/Madam, PRAISE
ALLAH, THE MOST BENEVOLENT. I
am Mrs Zenabu Ismaila, named person from Kuwait. I am married to Late
Malam Usman Ismiala of blessed memory who worked with Kuwait embassy
in Sudan for nine years before he died in the year 2000. We were married
for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that
lasted for only four days. Before
his death we were both very devoted muslims. Since his death I too have
been battling with both cancer and fibroid problems. When my late husband
was alive he deposited the sum of $10.5 Million (Ten Million Five hundred
thousand U.S. Dollars) with an oversea security company. Presently,
this money is still with the Security Company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to either a moslem organisation or devoted muslim individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here-in. I
want this muslim organisation or individual to use this money in all
sincererity to fund mosques, orphanages, widows and also propagating
the word of ALLAH and to ensure that the society upholds the views and
beliefs of the holy Quran. The
holy Quran emphasized so much on ALLAH'S benevolence and this has encouraged
me to take this bold step. I took this decision because I don't have
any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are
not following the way of allah and I don't want my husband's hard earned
money to be misused by people I call unbelievers. I don't want a situation
where this money will be used in an unholy manner. Hence
the reason for taking this bold decision. I know that after death I
will be with ALLAH the most beneficient and the most merciful. I don't
need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health
and also the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I
don't want them to know about this development. With
ALLAH all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall
give you the contact of the Security Company. I will also issue you
a letter of authority that will prove you as the original-beneficiary
of this fund. I want you and the Muslim community where you reside to
always pray for me. My happiness is that I lived a life of a true devoted
muslim worthy of emulation. Whoever
that wants to serve the ALLAH must serve him in truth and in fairness.
Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your
reply will give me room in sourcing for a muslim organisation or a devoted
muslim for this same purpose. Until I hear from you, my dreams will
rest squarely on your shoulders. I will like you to reply me through
my secured and private email address: mrszenabu@post.cz May
the almighty ALLAH continue to guide and protect you. Regards, Dear
Mrs. Zenabu Ismaila: I
am in receipt of your email dated 21 July 2004. I
would like to help, but I'm afraid I must tell you that you have probably
mistaken me for someone else. I am not a Muslim and have never been
a Muslim. I did once date a Muslim girl, but I don't think that counts
toward a conversion to your faith especially since we engaged in acts
The Prophet would find unclean. But, despite the fact that I defiled
a Daughter of Allah (and committed other transgressions which would
earn me a beheading under the laws of your progressive faith), I am
a great admirer of Mohammed. I think Islam is very inspiring, especially
to those who seek spiritual enlightenment or instruction in flying large
commercial aircraft. Though
I am a heathen and cannot help you, please know that I am very sorry
to hear about the loss of your husband, as well as your recent battles
with cancer, stroke, and your ambiguous "fibroid problem."
I am glad to hear that none of these major afflictions have shaken your
faith in Allah, or apparently, kept you away from the Internet. Man,
when I get a head cold, I'm off the Web for the duration. I don't know
how you do it. You must have to be transferred to a wheelchair and then
rolled to your workstation. Or, maybe you have one of those wireless
keyboards so you can access the World Wide Web from your death bed? If
you don't have that wireless keyboard, perhaps I can be of service.
I work with a guy who is selling his. He only wants US$50 (about 14
Kuwaiti Dinars), but I think I can jew him down on the price. In order
to get you the best deal, I won't mention that you are a multimillionaire,
okay? (By the way, I hope the phrase "jew him down" does not
offend you. While it is considered politically incorrect in the United
States, I thought your being Muslim and all, you wouldn't mind.) By
the way, it must be difficult keeping your relatives away from all that
money. They certainly do sound unclean and unholy, as you say. And,
believe me, I understand those family dynamics perfectly. I once had
a father-in-law who was a huge Lakers fan while I supported the Detroit
Pistons. Man, the fights we used to have - though it's probably not
the same as the "brotherly love versus Jihad" disagreements
you have at your house. Anyway,
good luck with the cancer and everything. Please understand that I would
give you a hand dispersing your money to Muslim organizations and causes,
but it is clear that you are not seeking the aide of a godless infidel
- and an American to boot! Still it was a pleasure to receive your letter,
and to know that there are people out there who are using the Internet
for good - unlike those con artists from Africa who promise to send
you millions of dollars if you deposit thousands into their bank account
first. I hate those guys. Yours
in Jesus name, Copyright 2004 Ross Turner
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